Wish List/Gonna Happen List

1. Finish Deck

2. Finish Shed

3. Paint outside trim and front door

4. Paint all walls indoors either touch up or new color(bought paint 6/1/09)

5. Deocrate!

6. Plant stuff in back yard that will survive!

7. Get guest bedroom looking "unlived in"

8. Get new bedroom comforter set and curtains!

9. Clean fish tank/get more fishies

10. Fix big screen for living room

11. Take all old clothes/shoes to goodwill

12. Find new job!

13. Find new job #2

14. Escort fixed and sold...tim and dad paid back with the monies from sale!

15. Fix navi

16. Fix shelf in fridge that shattered from the weight of to much beer

17. Clean out freezer no idea whats in there these days!

18. Get boat seats recovered

19. Go camping before July/August heat hits!

20. Spend more time with Jennifer and Joey(i hear a red lobster calling us :) )

21. Loose 6-10 more lbs while toning

22. Plan a September baby shower for my sister

23. Keep yard looking beautiful

24. Get caught up and such so i can pay all bills on time

25. Pay off CCCS and Home Depot Card then save monies!

26. Start walking my pups daily-make Tim go with

27. Get a new grill

28. New living/dinning room floors of some sort

29. Cabinets on the empty wall in the kitchen

30. Flat top stove

Ok i think that is enough for now!

May

Well lets see spring is here :)  Im blonde :)  We hang out with our neighbors outdoors almost daily :)  I love tim :)  He loves me :)  Tims birthday is friday but were celebrating Saturday cause Friday night my little brother graduates, man im getting old!  Im ready to quit BWR its just become more of a hassle than anything i have to ask off at least one day everyweekend it seems for this or that plus after this last weekend and the NO money i made i just dont wanna anymore oh and add that on top of fighting with everyone both nights all night!  Im to skinny to blonde to tan uncool because i dont drink...oh im sorry your jealous and that i bust my ass to be who/what i wanna be!  Still got my job at Phazar might possibly still get that Saudi plane contract which would keep me a job here for at least another year or so...i keep applying for jobs and have had some phone interviews but nothing worth pursuing any further than that...as of yet anyways...i should be receiving my Associates degree in the mail anytime although the TCC website says it could be in October before i get it :(  Oh well at least now i can put i have an associates degree and not "some college"  Now to decided on what to get my bachlores in!  I wanna do it to say i did and to show all those who said i wouldnt/couldnt that i can and will!  Tim and i had talked about buying Bryans parents house in Keller when they move to Florida now he thinks we wont be able to afford it :(  Ill stay in our house now so long as he gets his butt to helping me work on all the things that need done...shed finished, deck finished, painting indoors and out, deocrating and were gonna need another room if we are going to have a kid!  That subject we keep going back and forth on...i think we will regret it if we dont though yet at the same time we could regret it if we do...thats just my selfishness/spoildness talking again!  Our nieghbors across the street Mark and Amanda put their house up for sale and sold it in like a week!  Good for them but im sad at the same time we were just all starting to hang out so much and have a good time!  Tim and i were married a year this month CRAZY!  It really doesnt seem that long ago!  (Eavesdropping on the bosses phone call they said we have no plan to bid on the saudi airplane...hope i get a job SOON, said the owners are working on liquidation of Phazar, upholestry side not continuing, keep flight support up and running(maybe i can be CSR/Payroll?!?!?),operating out of bankruptcy that may be ending pretty soon)...well i want to end on a positive not as i try to keep more posotive than negative in my life!  Its summer, its boating season, and i have a job and a home :)  Life is good!  :D

Family Issue Venting

So apparently my mother the recovering alcoholic for like the last 12 years or so is now drinking again.  She thinks this is not a problem and shes doing fine...a recovering alcoholic drinking is not fine and doing ok!  She is even hididng whiskey in the freezer behind a bag of ice so no one will find it!  If this isnt a big enough eye opener for me and my drinking well then i dont know what is!  I REFUSE to end up like her...dont get me wrong i love my mom to death but the past back when she drank well its NOT pretty!  I will never take anyone down that road and i cant beleive she is willing to go back down that road...find another way to deal with stress and release aggravation and depression!  Alcohol is a downer...its just gonna make you more depressed!  And running away also not the answer problems are gonna be there when ya go back and if ya dont well then theres a whole other world of problems for you to deal with....this economy sucks jobs are few and far in between...even CEO's and VP's of companies are getting laid off so be patient you will find a job in time!  Dont sit around the house all day mopping about it all get off you ass and do some yard work, pull the weeds mow the yard plant some flowers...something anything!  No you dont have to do it all but you are home more with nothing to do while everyone else has school/work/kids.  Make a chore list give everyone daily/weekly chores to do including yourself and the kids they are old enough to do a few things like pick up their toys before bed(start a star system after so many stars they get a trip to the park or chuck e cheese or something)  learn to be an adult and have adult converstations yelling and bitching obviously dont work so try another route...havent you learned anything in your 26 years as a mother and 27 as a wife?!?!??

To my sister:

You are a great mother!  And i look up to you!  I hope that one day i am as good of a mother as you are to your children...you could have taken some easier roads in life yet you chose the hard ones for you  and your kids sake and happiness and i think your doing just fine...yeah you had to move back home but you will get things in order and be able to leave soon enough...your not a looser and anyone who says you are well they are!  You are the best mom you can be! you dont have to have money to be a good mom( i know money makes things easier and it will come)...You thought you would be a wife and mother and nothing else your whole life...well insteasd you got some asshole but all that has done is make you a stronger better person...

To my dad:

All i can say is how do you do it?  Guess we know where my stubborn hard headed never give up attitude came from!  

To my brother:

GRADUATE dang it!  And be more careful if you get lucky and dont end up a daddy this time!  Wrap it, pull and pray, and make sure shes on the pill...or just dont have sex at all that for sure works everytime!

Drinking is BAD

Lets see where to begin?!??!  Ok Saturday was going to be a great fun night but ya know how alcohol makes you...and to find out that Tim had met Kelly for lunch after i moved out well that just made it much much worse and caused me to drink way to much so much i dont even remember the whole night...i do remember him saying he will have no contact with her in any way form or fashion and that makes me happy...i HATE her...yes a strong word but i do...if she likes married unaviliable men good for her but i highly suggest she go looking else where or she will be sorry!  He picked me over her a long time ago and he married me...that should tell her something...it sure does me that he LOVES ME!  Enough about the bitch...well i had already told myself i wasnt going to drink anymore well it didnt work out so well...i have seriously got to STOP!  It is becoming a huge problem and i refuse to let it ruin my life or make me loose things in my life...I would like to apologize to Melissa and Clint for my crazy drunk behavior on Saturday and thank you Melissa for taking care of me...i promise it will NEVER happen again!  Tim thank you for loving me and not leaving me on the side of the road or leaving forever i will not drink anymore!  Its not good for you, me, us or my weight loss!  

I made good money at the restraunt this weekend but we spent most all of it going out which is ok i just wish i wouldnt have made it not a good time...Yesterday while doing laundry i washed tims phone :(  i opened the washer to put the jeans in the dryer and there it was...i feel AWFUL!  But he has the phone insurance so for $50 they will send him a new one i hope his memory card and sim card still work!  Friday before work i went to Rue 21 to check out their huge sale i got 5 shirts a nighty thing and pair of flip flops all under $40!  GO ME!  LOL!  I really need clothes that fit i wish i would have found some jeans and shorts maybe another store with a sale will have some!  Well thats all ive got for now...